Reflection

I know it has been awhile so be prepared for a long one.

Everything has been going great in my life and I have gone about my days almost like a robot, meaning, same routine everyday. I am not one to take a liking to change.

For 2 weeks everything had been thrown off course. You see a couple months ago I found a lump in my breast and being that I am only 33 and have no family history with the exception of my Dad's uncle having breast cancer years ago (not considered family history because he is not immediate family) I ignored it. Well, Several weeks ago it started hurting so I thought that I should at least mention it to my Dr so I did. Long story short is that he sent me to a breast surgeon, she did ultrasound, mammogram, and another ultrasound and turns out all is well. I didn't even need to get a biopsy which she told me before mammogram that she was pretty sure she will need to biopsy it. I just have to go back every 6 months for her to recheck it to make sure it hasn't changed in size or shape.

Needless to say, sitting, waiting and wondering if your life is about to change forever makes you reflect on everything you have done and want to do with your life. I found a renewed appreciation for my life and all of the people that are in it especially my husband and all 3 of my wonderful children. I would like to share a little bit of my experience with you.

Last Friday as I sat in the Dr office waiting for my name to be called to hear what challenges I will be faced with I sat and talkd to few ladies. Everyone sitting in that office is either fighting breast cancer now or has fought in in the past and one ladie who is fighting her 2nd battle with it and she was only in her late 30s/early 40s.

I was talking to one lady who is in her late 30s and she was just diagnosed the week before and had just completed her 1st chemo treatment the day before. I was listening as she discussed with the other young lady about how her mammogram came back normal and the only way she was diagnosed was by MRI and PET scan and where she bought her headwrap as she has started chemo and will need one soon and they were discussing about how many treatments before her hair would fall out and which chemo meds out of the 3 that she is taking would make her sick and make her have horrible nose bleeds. All the while I was sitting there praying that I will not have to go through that and praying for both of those women and that they both will win thier battles and not have to fight it anymore.

When the nurse finally called my name to come back, as I sat in that room waiting for the Dr to come in I just kept praying and reflecting on my life and how I have lived it and how it could possibly be changed forever. I was thinking of how many things I take for granted like how I always tell the lady that cuts my hair "just do whatever you want, it"ll grow back", or how when Jack wants me to play with him and I'm tired and really don't want to I always tell him "I will in a min", or how when the girls are talking like they seem to ALWAYS be doing, from time to time I just tune them out, how I could love my husband a little more and show him more often, and how horrible I treated my Mom and Step Dad while I was growing up. The list goes on and on.

In the end, I go to bed every night and wake up every morning thankful for the life, family, friends, and health that I have and I am blessed to have every second of MY life!